Monday, February 8, 2010

latest update.

h e l l o w o r l d,

so, the latest news? i'm eighteen, i've moved out of my house, and i'm currently living with a close friend. pretty crazy, huh? it's a lot better this way, though. i've relieved so much stress, and i feel completely weightless. it's a beautiful thing to go to sleep at night without feeling alone; empty. this weekend i really took a step back and evaluated myself and i can see that im doing the right thing, whats best for me and everyone else. then, i went to a party in hoboken, haha. went with my babygirl megan and had some amazing nights. from friday when i hung out with joey and crashed at erin's house, which was a ton of laughs, to saturday where we drank, smoked, and lived all night long, to sunday which was full of messy hair, cigarette smoke, car rides and oujia boards, my weekend was full of smiles and laughs. i went to my first anger management class today, one that i enrolled myself into so i can get better. it was awkward, and i had a tense feeling in my stomach, but it soon went away. i think these classes will really help. im surrounding myself with my old frends, making new memories and trying to let go of my bitter past. trying to banish the nightmares that cling to my skin, dripping with spite from my pores. im trying to push past the struggle, break through the surface of this self-torture ive been drowning myself in, and slowly it's working. and to the people i left when i moved away from my old home, im sorry. im sorry that i didnt really say goodbye and im sorry that ive seemed to have locked you all up in this little box that ive chained shut and left aside. i havent forgotten any of you, but there are a select few id rather not make total contact with just yet. there are specific reasons as to why, and whenever youd like to know, if you can guess who you few are, then ask me. i'll tell you. ive realized a lot, too. like how much people lie, even the ones youd never expected to. how different things seem and how much things change. i barely know what im saying right now, because im so tired that my eyelids are drooping. ill keep you all updated, but for now, wish me luck. im trying to be someone that can make you proud.

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