Monday, June 14, 2010


i have moved my blog somewhere else.
all my photos and postings will now be at:

Sunday, June 13, 2010

hot sex, vodka and cigarettes.
ready, set, go.

Friday, June 11, 2010

i'm very into photography and art,
it's how i express myself.

i want to love you from the very tips of my toes to the top of my head. i want to love you to the very core of your soul. i want to fall so madly and deeply in love with you that it feels as if nothing is real anymore. i want to get swallowed up and lost in your heart. i want to need you with all my being and have comfort in knowing you need me just as much. i want to be your forever kind of love, the one where there is no distance, dilemma or force that could affect us, no mountain that could keep us apart. i want to be the one you love so passionately that you never forget a single detail of my face, i want our love to be the kind where you can be miles away but i can close my eyes and know the exact feel of your hand, your face, your hair. i want to love you so fully that i know the exact rhythm of your breathing, i want to love you so hard that it feels as if my heart will burst. i want us to love completely, one another, until there is no world left, and for our love to be so strong that even once this world is gone, our souls are still soaring in the universe entertwined for eternity. i want to love you with everything i've got and show you just how true love can be.

wait, obey, breathe, eat, suffer, repeat.
where is the sustenance to life? it vanished when they put the shackles around your wrists. the corruption builds in a world of materialistic, power-hungry demons, in a world of lost authoritative icons whose hands are black with sin, in a world where there are no longer morals when it comes to death and we all just hurt to hurt, in a world where another's suffering is someone else's pleasure. we are all sadomasochistic sick fucks, we live in pain we cause ourselves and we thrive off the sweet knowledge of another's misery. where is this america they spoke of in our youth? the land of liberty, life and freedom? it never existed, it was a fucking lie. the world is controlled by the sick greed of mankind, enslaved by the constant need for money and power, the constant struggle to be on top. we are a disgusting and shameful race, humans. so many of our species has lost all true meaning to what it means to be a person. they walk about, like robots, cold, steel robots from an assembly line, lacking all compassion, integrity, strength, courage and the will to believe in magic and love, the will to believe in hope. nowadays humans drown in self-loathe, hatred, anger, sadness, and sin. enslaved by their own corruption. we are nothing more than slaves, created to obey. obey communistic dictation, obey parental demands, obey materialistic cravings, obey greed, lust and gluttony, obey the educational system, obey, obey, obey. we are all slaves to a higher power than ourselves, we can all be broken down by something. we are all born to obey something, i was born to obey love. i was born to obey hope, to obey inspiration and dreams, to obey the compassion within my heart. i refuse to let my anger swallow me, to fall in line with the rest of the unfeeling fucks around me. i will sacrifice to show this world some light, i will stretch my arms to the sky and watch them reach out like branches to the clouds. my mind will expand as i live, as i embrace the aspects of each virtue in life. i will not be another carbon copy of enslavement, i will soar and break free from this indignity and i will open the eyes of other's to a new world, one of magic, belief, and dreams.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

finally new writing!

telepathic connections and scattered directions,
ruffie-induced sleeps and drunken confessions,
cigarette burns mark up your arms
and the pills you pop set off violent alarms,
the bottom line is that life is dangerous,
and this sickness we have is highly contagious.

i see you, i hear you, do you hear me? i know you do.
open your eyes, let's cut to the chase,
walking through life like it's acid-laced.
i can see your face, hear your heartbeat race,
i want to rip you down from your fucking grace.
violent screams in a silent world, have you opened your eyes yet?
i pulled them from their sockets and left them bleeding down your face.
did you hear that? of course not, you're part of the conspiracy.
slurred words and thoughts clatter deliriously,
in the chaos and calamity of your undergoing insanity, it's a fucking mental tyranny.
you can't taste the corruption because you have no tongue.
you're a zombie, walking aimlessly.
no direction, no voice, no sanity.
another mindless robot off an assembly line, here it comes, another suicide.
go ahead, and make that climb, -i dare you to fucking jump.
in a struggling world what equals power?
the same violence repeated for hours,
bodies stacked in a blood and bone tower,
your soul is what this greed devours,
those seven deadly sins begin to melt your mind in a recycle bin
of repetition of the same old shit.
vindication, sick self-mutilation, life so full of mindless complications,
shut the fuck up! ... now listen,
silence if fucking golden, and thus the cycle repeats again.

my heart is patiently waiting as the wind whispers your name,
a neverending rollar coaster ride, a violent mental mind-fucked game,
i drown in your eyes, you take my hand and our lips touch.
electricity; you seduce me.
and it's ecstacy.

these aren't really poems or anything, they're peices i wrote while i was on E one day, and i must admit, they're eerie.

i can see them. i can see you.
i hear the words but i have no response- i can't respond.
someone's taped my mouth shut, fuck.
voices, voices, voices, voices.
your voice, their voices; not mine.
when can i take this damn tape off?
yes! it's finally off..
i scream, it goes back on.

didn't i leave this place?
i went home, i remember the walk.
but when i close my eyes, i'm there again.
i'm losing it, oh fuck.
i need to relax and remember..
it's just a drug thing. just a drug thing.
back and forth, back and forth,
good and bad, yes and no.
i should stop, but it's fun, but it's dangerous.
but it numbs, but it's artificial, but it's real.
but.. it's winning, and i don't like to lose.
burn wall.
( so basically my friend suggested this, it's shit i've written for people
and who, and yeah. not good shit either.)

try as you might, you all will never break me down. in the end i am my own worst enemy and you're all just sideline drama. - directed to : all the middletown girls i had problems with.

i'm weighed down by the chains of your ignorance. you all need to either grow up and expand or get the fuck out. - directed to : christian grau and megan gonzalez and danny torruelles and others i can't recall completely.

you talk so much, but that's it. there are no actions behind your words, you don't even have the respect for yourself or anyone else to confront anyone. so look in the mirror and know your place bitch, before i put you in it. you're just a carbon copy of me, with more flaws. stop trying to write with my flow, stop trying to act more mature, because in the end i'll always tower over you in every attribute. - directed to : megan gonzalez.

i pity the person you are because there's no strength that lies within you, no compassion or determination, you lack courage, you lack soul, you're just another among the masses that blend in. you let the world turn you cold and you inhale spite and drip with antagonism. you're chained by stupid choices, and i'm watching you sink 'cus i'll no longer help you. - directed to : christian grau.