Sunday, October 11, 2009


"Before you, my life was like a moonless night. Very
dark, but there were stars- points of light and
reason. And then you shot across my sky like a meteor.
Suddenly everything was on fire; there was brilliancy,
there was beauty. When you were gone, when
the meteor had fallen over the horizon, everything
went black. Nothing had changed, but my eyes were blinded
by the light. I couldn't see the stars anymore.
And there was no more reason for anything."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
i feel like everyone is looking down on me today
and the words that i'm sorry, they just don't mean a thing
they all know it was a mistake on me
i'm not perfect, and i never tried to be.

everything feels like it's coming down
like pouring rain covering all around
so many tragedies that turn out okay
we can all see that this isn't that case. this is a mistake.

like the rain that's pouring down
my tears are falling to the ground
because my insides are tight
body and mind shaking with fright
the thought of loosing you tonight
the only thought inside my head
tell me you love me, tell me you care
but is it true, is it really there

been decieved once or twice the same
how do i know it's not another game

you're my everything
my own god's blessing our
words in the air silently carressing

what's life without you in it
what's my world without you to spin it
what's my heart without a beat
nothing, but an empty street

everyone needs a lover, a best friend
someone they can trust to the end
someone to hold them as they cry
and someone who can see past all their lies
you're the person i've grown to adore
with every minute a minute more
my best friend, soul mate and key to my heart

i loved you from the very start.

machine .

` and she's slowly dying inside ;
she's stopped running and has nowhere to hide ;
so she'll hold onto something sharp ,
close her eyes and cradle her heart .
she feels as if she's half human , half machine ;
behind her smiles there has always been screams .

she is , i am .

` im fucked up , a screw up , im cut up , wont shut up ,
she sees it ; i live it , we breathe it , dismiss it .
she screams , i cut , she hits , im fucked ;
im dying , im crying , shes lying and scheming ,
im no longer dreaming ; and no longer breathing ,
im breaking , im falling ; im falling and calling ,
and calling and reaching , and reaching and speaking ,
and speaking and crying and crying and screaming ,
while she's still decieving , decieving and scheming ,
scheming and lying , shes lying , im flying ,
im falling , im soaring , im breaking , im shaking ,
im quaking , shes faking , im crazy , shes lazy ,
shes judging , im cutting , im starving , im running ,
shes chasing , im slipping , im losing , shes winning ,
she judges and screams , i break at my seams ,
she rests her head , and i fall down dead .

the curtains fall .

` they only see the fake smiles ,
not the screams behind her life ,
they never witness the loss of sanity ,
the corruption that touches her skin ,
she tells her story to the walls of her room ,
relying on comfort from her knife ,
her eyes close and she blocks out their calls ,
she tells her story to a blade and her blood .
and then the curtains slowly fall .

sing it softly .

` i hath sinned upon thyself with the cold teeth of steel ;
i hath allowed thine own blood to pour by thine own hands .
i pray thee lord to forgive me of my trespassed sin ;
i pray to thee , oh lord , if thee is truly listening ;
to forgive me for taking thy gift of thine flesh and
biting it with steel and blade .
forgive thee for having thoughts of early meeting ;
forgive me and allow my heart to cease it's aching .
- - - - - - - - - - - - - singitsoftly .

masquerade .

` throw away the masquerade ,
paper faces on parade ,
porcelain cheeks and glassy eyes ,
lips blood red with all her lies ,
gold beads and black lace ,
a glass rose in a crystal case ,
chandelier lights and a ballroom floor ,
the groom is upstairs with a harlot ; a whore ,
their speaking with their hands ; vows of affair ,
one that the bride is the last to care ,
because she has sins on her corrupted lips ,
where she sealed her deals with more then a kiss ,
their love is as fake as the faces they wear ,
in the same bed is where their sins are shared ,
red wine and a sensual touch ,
theyre both dancing and drinking too much ,
their thoughts are dazed and their minds are blurred ,
with the pull of a trigger , a gun shot is heard ,
the carpet is bloodstained where two bodies lay ,
and a young girl stands still in the doorway ,
tears down her cheeks and anger in her heart ,
it was money and greed that tore them apart ,
the family she once had she could no longer find ,
so next , the gun chose her head , and she lost her mind .

sonnet .

` and i wrote a sonnet for you ,
filled with my feelings of lust and love ,
dripping with truth and torn by envy ,
the stains are my tears , the blood of my sadness ,
beneath the tattered smile i still apply ,
screams stories of lies and deciet ,
as the curtain falls my other side comes out ,
the girl i try to keep buried ,
beneath forced laughs and fake smiles ,
the side of me that is falling deeper every day ,
with a struggle i look myself in the mirror ,
and i see a deep gash along my face ,
a crack ; a long , deep crack in my mask ,
bleeding with insecurities and fears ,
i can see that i am breaking ,
that i have been worn down and cast out ,
and yet i am still pushing , i am still alive .

shooting stars .

` things won't get better , i finally know this ,
but thats okay because i will stay strong ,
i will still wish at 11 : 11 and look for shooting stars ,
i will still day dream about neverland and dream of flying cars ,
i will still sing songs while you tear me down ,
ill still believe santa clause and the tooth fairy come around ,
i believe the boogieman is hiding under the bed ,
and i have entire galaxies mapped out in my head ,
i have seen the monsters that are in my closet ,
and i have read of faeries that would fit in your pocket ,
i walk the yellow line in the middle of the streets ,
and when i play marbles , i play for keeps ,
i have the world on my shoulders , and my heart on my sleeve ,
when i walk into your life , i wont ever leave ,
in a world of destruction we need to search our hearts .
and bring ourselves together instead of drift apart ,
so take my hand and well go somewhere far ,
where i can take you with me to find shooting stars .

there , she floats .

`there she floats ,
lost in a world of blue ,
her dress shrouds her in white ,
creating the imagery of a ghost ,
a ghost long past forgotten ,
she floats ,
her lips closed ,
her face a frozen frame of time ,
frozen in a silent terror ,
her hair falls like a veil ,
surrounding a face paused in life ,
eyes forever closed in an eternal slumber ,
she floats ,
a victim of the sea's wrath ,
a victim , a victim of the world's fury ,
of its hate and violence ,
a victim of an unfortunate reality ,
there she floats ,
unmoving and undisturbed ,
lost , the maiden of the sea ,
her life stolen and cut short ,
there she floats ,
slowly sinking ; undisturbed ,
in her watery tomb ,
there she floats and slowly sinks .

little laury - a short poetic story .

" so here's a story for little tikes ,
a tale full of dread and fright ,
so if youre scared run and hide ,
from the monsters that lurk inside ,
lock your closet , check under your bed ,
run from the fears that nest in you head ,
so now its time to hear my story ,
of a foolish girl by the name of laury
. "

` little miss laury on a bright , sunny day ,
decided she would go out and play ,
so with haste , she did all of her chores ,
and without a word walked out of the door ,
she didnt believe in the tales she was told ,
of the monsters outside that were heartless and cold ,
she thought it all just folly and play ,
but little miss laury never returned that day ,
if only she had listened to what they had said ,
of how these monsters must be properly fed ,
and how they adore small , little girls ,
especially ones with ringlets and curls ,
maybe then little laury would not have said ' hello ' ,
to the large , dark figure hidden in shadow ,
because that figure was in fact a monster ,
who quickly grabbed her and then devoured ,
all that was left of her was her right shoe ,
and the townspeople knew not what to do ,
because no one knew what happened to poor , little laury ,
and that my kiddies is the end of the story .

' So the moral of this chapter would be ,
BEWARE of the monsters that roam the streets ,
because you could end up like poor , little laury ,
a tragic ending to an eerie story .


with these words I tell the truth
of every child that's gone missing
of every girl that's been hurt
all the children who are beaten
they're screaming into the night
they call to you for help and yet
all you do is turn away
there's not enough to feed the hungry
and weary soldiers fall each day
the healthy grow sick and the sick lay dying
the government's eyes witness
and yet we are still crying
how do you sleep still at night
being the cause of so much pain
how can you live each day at ease
when we know no relief
our voices are stifled so that the truth may not leak
but I refuse to walk in a predetermined path
a road in which you chose for us
the truth is that we know no freedom
our rights are stripped away as we are born
our hands are chained to their will
we are their puppets and watch as they pull our strings
as they wind us up and watch us dance
their sick spin of racism and hate
day by day we sink deeper
into this pit of self corruption
stereotypes , casualties , and sinning
each wrong doing cracking a deeper scar into the world
a globe of glass reaching its point to shatter
there's a difference between me and them
my voice will not be stopped
my eyes will not turn away
my heart will bleed for those who suffer
and I wear those lost on my shoulder and my heart on my sleeve
i will carry this cruel world on my back
of every baby lost
of every blade that cut my skin
for every tear i have shed
unlike them i will have my own freedom
i will not allow myself any regrets
i will allow compassion into my heart
so i ask you how you can live
with all this on you mind

my hollow words falling into unlistening ears,
echoing and reverberating off empty walls,
trapped in the confinments of their own gruesome and hellish demise,
gasping and choking on your own despair,
suffocating as misery and distain morph to one,
battering your soul with grotesque and gorified indecency,
grasping, tearing, ripping and shredding your heart,
bleeding it into corruption; into a brutal temptation,
intoxicating you with lies of tragic suffering,
seducing you with enthralling and etherall beings,
watch helplessly in angst as your heart withers,
the inner beauty stripped away and revealing bare and raw horror,
molding and sculpting it shamefully into a tomb,
a tomb where sins and disastser lurk, where they are locked within,
a tomb buried forever in chains and shackles; never to be resurrected again,
a crypt for dead longings and broken dreams,
shattered into this world of vile misleadings,
with its' sadistic cruelties and mundane casualties,
sacrifice liberation to be condemned into purgatory,
watch as the Almighty and Lucifer clash,
bent on throwing the equilibrium of the world overboard,
content with their horrific destruction,
into the raging torrent of redemption,
vindication. mutilation. rejection.
your protective wall deteriorates,
you realize now that what suffices you,
succumbs to the inevitable.


i look around but am not truly seeing
my hands reach out but grasp nothing
but the silence that has engulfed my body
my mind is withering
fighting back the clawing nails of insanity
running without success from the anxieties
the ones that whisper fear into the back of my mind
my eyes are not my own , not the same
now filled with the images of
land made of bodies without breath
of red stained dirt and death
my ears bleed with the sound of their screams
the ones of my dying comrades
their screams join together
forming a single plea
in those screams , those fading eyes ,
you see their last cry of hope
you see their mother's tears or daughter's shattered heart
you see their wife's soundless sobs or their sons fallen prayers
in those screams you hear their fear
you watch their family and friends take their final breath with them
as their eyes dull and that dying soldier's heart stops beating
you see a piece of their soul die along with that soldier
whose life was stolen away by the hands of destruction
by the cruel hands of war


a tragedy of a twisted
romeo and juliet where
ring around the rosie
has not stopped yet, a
song of pain a song
of death, you invisioning
your last breath, a
sick and morbid story
of two lost lovers trapped
in a world of discontent
and agony, where little
girls cry rape into the
night into unlistening
passerby’s ears, where
little boys are trained
to be monsters and
where nightmares are
born and bred, pull the
trigger, oh death-ridden
juliet, join your romeo
in his hell bed, rip
open the ground and
embrace the satanic
flames of your sanctuary
pull the trigger thus ending
our sick story of william shakespeare’s fantasy.


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