i want to love you from the very tips of my toes to the top of my head. i want to love you to the very core of your soul. i want to fall so madly and deeply in love with you that it feels as if nothing is real anymore. i want to get swallowed up and lost in your heart. i want to need you with all my being and have comfort in knowing you need me just as much. i want to be your forever kind of love, the one where there is no distance, dilemma or force that could affect us, no mountain that could keep us apart. i want to be the one you love so passionately that you never forget a single detail of my face, i want our love to be the kind where you can be miles away but i can close my eyes and know the exact feel of your hand, your face, your hair. i want to love you so fully that i know the exact rhythm of your breathing, i want to love you so hard that it feels as if my heart will burst. i want us to love completely, one another, until there is no world left, and for our love to be so strong that even once this world is gone, our souls are still soaring in the universe entertwined for eternity. i want to love you with everything i've got and show you just how true love can be.

wait, obey, breathe, eat, suffer, repeat.

where is the sustenance to life? it vanished when they put the shackles around your wrists. the corruption builds in a world of materialistic, power-hungry demons, in a world of lost authoritative icons whose hands are black with sin, in a world where there are no longer morals when it comes to death and we all just hurt to hurt, in a world where another's suffering is someone else's pleasure. we are all sadomasochistic sick fucks, we live in pain we cause ourselves and we thrive off the sweet knowledge of another's misery. where is this america they spoke of in our youth? the land of liberty, life and freedom? it never existed, it was a fucking lie. the world is controlled by the sick greed of mankind, enslaved by the constant need for money and power, the constant struggle to be on top. we are a disgusting and shameful race, humans. so many of our species has lost all true meaning to what it means to be a person. they walk about, like robots, cold, steel robots from an assembly line, lacking all compassion, integrity, strength, courage and the will to believe in magic and love, the will to believe in hope. nowadays humans drown in self-loathe, hatred, anger, sadness, and sin. enslaved by their own corruption. we are nothing more than slaves, created to obey. obey communistic dictation, obey parental demands, obey materialistic cravings, obey greed, lust and gluttony, obey the educational system, obey, obey, obey. we are all slaves to a higher power than ourselves, we can all be broken down by something. we are all born to obey something, i was born to obey love. i was born to obey hope, to obey inspiration and dreams, to obey the compassion within my heart. i refuse to let my anger swallow me, to fall in line with the rest of the unfeeling fucks around me. i will sacrifice to show this world some light, i will stretch my arms to the sky and watch them reach out like branches to the clouds. my mind will expand as i live, as i embrace the aspects of each virtue in life. i will not be another carbon copy of enslavement, i will soar and break free from this indignity and i will open the eyes of other's to a new world, one of magic, belief, and dreams.

finally new writing!

telepathic connections and scattered directions,
ruffie-induced sleeps and drunken confessions,

cigarette burns mark up your arms

and the pills you pop set off violent alarms,

the bottom line is that life is dangerous,

and this sickness we have is highly contagious.

i see you, i hear you, do you hear me? i know you do.
open your eyes, let's cut to the chase,
walking through life like it's acid-laced.
i can see your face, hear your heartbeat race,
i want to rip you down from your fucking grace.
violent screams in a silent world, have you opened your eyes yet?
i pulled them from their sockets and left them bleeding down your face.
did you hear that? of course not, you're part of the conspiracy.
slurred words and thoughts clatter deliriously,

in the chaos and calamity of your undergoing insanity, it's a fucking mental tyranny.
you can't taste the corruption because you have no tongue.
you're a zombie, walking aimlessly.
no direction, no voice, no sanity.
another mindless robot off an assembly line, here it comes, another suicide.
go ahead, and make that climb, -i dare you to fucking jump.
in a struggling world what equals power?
the same violence repeated for hours,
bodies stacked in a blood and bone tower,
your soul is what this greed devours,
those seven deadly sins begin to melt your mind in a recycle bin
of repetition of the same old shit.
vindication, sick self-mutilation, life so full of mindless complications,
shut the fuck up! ... now listen,
silence if fucking golden, and thus the cycle repeats again.

my heart is patiently waiting as the wind whispers your name,

a neverending rollar coaster ride, a violent mental mind-fucked game,

i drown in your eyes, you take my hand and our lips touch.

electricity; you seduce me.

and it's ecstacy.

these aren't really poems or anything, they're peices i wrote while i was on E one day, and i must admit, they're eerie.

i can see them. i can see you.

i hear the words but i have no response- i can't respond.

someone's taped my mouth shut, fuck.

voices, voices, voices, voices.

your voice, their voices; not mine.

when can i take this damn tape off?

yes! it's finally off..

i scream, it goes back on.

didn't i leave this place?

i went home, i remember the walk.

but when i close my eyes, i'm there again.

i'm losing it, oh fuck.

i need to relax and remember..

it's just a drug thing. just a drug thing.

back and forth, back and forth,

good and bad, yes and no.

i should stop, but it's fun, but it's dangerous.

but it numbs, but it's artificial, but it's real.

but.. it's winning, and i don't like to lose.

burn wall.

( so basically my friend suggested this, it's shit i've written for people

and who, and yeah. not good shit either.)


try as you might, you all will never break me down. in the end i am my own worst enemy and you're all just sideline drama. - directed to : all the middletown girls i had problems with.

i'm weighed down by the chains of your ignorance. you all need to either grow up and expand or get the fuck out. - directed to : christian grau and megan gonzalez and danny torruelles and others i can't recall completely.

you talk so much, but that's it. there are no actions behind your words, you don't even have the respect for yourself or anyone else to confront anyone. so look in the mirror and know your place bitch, before i put you in it. you're just a carbon copy of me, with more flaws. stop trying to write with my flow, stop trying to act more mature, because in the end i'll always tower over you in every attribute. - directed to : megan gonzalez.

i pity the person you are because there's no strength that lies within you, no compassion or determination, you lack courage, you lack soul, you're just another among the masses that blend in. you let the world turn you cold and you inhale spite and drip with antagonism. you're chained by stupid choices, and i'm watching you sink 'cus i'll no longer help you. - directed to : christian grau.

ESCAPE.

white castle burgers, straight hours of eminem and ice cream.

so basically pure insanity has been creeping its way in through the back of my mind, little by little each day. to the point where i could see, hear, taste, and feel myself breaking down; crumbling. so i ran, i ran away to a haven i knew i'd be trapped in so that i wouldn't be pulled back to jersey city just because i missed one person. it's foriegn to me though, these feelings. i feel like i'm being trapped by myself, as in by me. but then again, i feel free. i'm crazy, and i accept that completely. there is no sanity within the world any longer, society does not accept sanity. they do all that they can to push you and push you until you've lost it all, until you join us, join the insane. i can rejoice now, though, that i've finally run away from jersey city and can stay away for a while. stay away from the drama. or at least most of it because unfortunately dramatics is something that follows us all everywhere, somehow. it drives me crazy, how fucking idiotic individuals can be. why don't you all just SHUT THE FUCK UP. GROW THE FUCK UP. GET THE FUCK OUT. stop wasting your fucking life away on stupidity. stop making idiotic choices and actually fucking think. life is short and abrupt, you have no time to waste it. NONE.

SNOW WHITE; the whore.

mirror mirror on the wall, is how the saying goes,
who's top dog of these streets the bitter bitch must know,
the question is answered with a smirk from the man behind the glass,
miss snow white with rose red lips and a surely slammin' ass.
by these crude words the queen steps back, rage evident in her eyes,
"well that little brat is done for good, she can kiss her fame goodbye."
the queen set out to find a man willing to do her crime,
to get her own hands dirty with blood? nah, she didn't have the time.
finally she found the one who would carry out her demands,
to murder snow white and bring back her heart, still warm within his hands.
he set out at once to fulfill his task but in the plan there was a snair,
he hadn't known that the girl he was after would ever look so fair,
instead of death he warned miss white and told her to run far away,
and thus she did, she ran all night and hitchiked throughout the day.
but the world is a sick and dangerous place for lost, little, young girls,
and lil' white learned this the hard way as her demise began to unfurl,
one night she decided to accept a ride, as tired as she was,
the dumb lil' chick accepted a drink, unknowing that it was drugged.
her mind began to slip away and the driver eyed her with a grin,
the stupid bitch was so screwed and thus her downfall will now begin.
when she came back to she opened her eyes and gasped in fright and shock,
there she was in a pitch black room, naked and chained in locks.
through a door came seven men, each with sick, twisted smiles,
they gagged her up, pinned her down and her body each one defiled.
and from then on little white was lost in a world where there was no light,
and every day she could do nothing more but cry and struggle to fight.
she roamed the corners like her masters ordered, scantily dressed and batting her eyes,
until a car pulled up to the curb and took the slut for a ride.
once she was done, all banged up and knees blue and black,
she was paid and dropped until the next night when surely she'd be back.
the days played out all the same, the skank gettin' money for her pimps,
and along the line the little girl picked up some sexual tricks.
but poor lil' white was degraded and lost, crying every day,
until she found a lovely way to take all the pain away.
pill after pill she popped into her mouth, her eyes rolling back as she drank,
a bottle of vodka slipped from her hands as her mind began to go black.
thus little white turned all pale, and her lips lost all trace of hue,
and when the seven men came back home they hadn't a clue what to do.
"shit, the bitch offed herself, we're so completely fucked!"
"nah, chill we'll throw her in the river, no one'll find her in that muck."
so they grabbed her lifeless body and carried it to the place,
and dumped her corpse in the water, everything sinking but her face.
her blank eyes glared at them from her souless body until finally it sank,
and the seven men left for good, blew all their cash on crank.
back at the castle the wicked witch looked into the mirror again,
"mirror, mirror, on the wall now tell me who's the best, my friend."
the mirror cackled and looked at the woman with an aggitated twitch,
"even dead, snow white's the shit and you're just a tired ol' bitch."

i wrote this for someone, recently. unfortunately, i'm a tad rusty,

since i haven't been writing in quite some time,

but this person, well, they brought back that urge to do so,

let's just say, i was inspired. very much inspired.

and to that person, i have this to say,

and hopefully you'll remember the random conversation we had that pretains to the following (:

- i looked it up, the sun does rise in the east and set in the west.

i know you're scared, 'cus i'm scared too,

but i'm willing to risk it all, all for you.

the sun will rise in the east and set in the west,

but this feeling in my heart ceases to rest.

that is, until you're by my side again,

and not for just this moment, but until forever's end.

with eyes so intense they captivate my being,

god, that smile of yours leaves my head reeling,

this feeling, i'm keeping, there's no chance that i'm leaving,

in your arms, i'm dreaming, for that kiss, i'm feening.

a faraway glance leaves me breathless,

this climbing tension fails to rest,

you're worth it all, storm clouds and thunder,

any ocean, there's no doubt i'd drown under,

i won't hesitate to walk through fire, ice, and glass,

to sacrfice something, there's no need to ask,

i would risk it all, whatever i'd have to do,

as long as it was for you, just and only you.

- destiny isabella f.